Optimism

“You can either be bitter or you get better. It’s that simple.  You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The CHOICE does not belong with fate, it BELONGS TO YOU!”

My mom shared this quote with me a few months ago. I wrote it on a sticky note and placed it in my planner. I came across the quote again this week while reflecting on my year.  While reading it over and over and over again, I realized I have been pretty negative lately.  It opened my eyes to show me that there will always be something trying to make me bitter. It is up to ME to make that bitter situation a better situation.

Lately, things have been going great. However, I have had my fair share of bad days.  I am  really trying to see the light in each situation and not making it darker by thinking about what went wrong.  This is EXTREMELY difficult!!  For now I have to take it step-by-step…day-by-day…hour-by-hour..and if all else fails…minute-by-minute.

It is that time in the semester when everyone is fed up with so much. (You know what I am talking about :)) You can barely put up with yourself and you zone in on things that wouldn’t normally bother you. Keep pushing through.

The Waiting Game

I have heard “For Those Who Wait” by Fireflight multiple times in the past month.  Tonight on the way back to reality, I actually listened to what the lyrics were saying and absolutely lost it.  This is exactly what I am struggling with– The Waiting Game.  All I need to do is open my eyes and be patient (this is ridiculously hard).  I need to let go of all of my fear and doubt.  After all that has occurred in my life, and especially over the past 5 years, you would think I would have a grasp on these emotions.  In all reality, I have overcome SO much.  “No one said it was going to be easy.” I am on a great path but boy is it emotional.  A good friend of mine helped me realize that I need to feel as special as I am to everyone else.  This starts with growing in my walk towards self-confidence.  I don’t give myself enough credit!  My special moment will come and it will be FANTASTIC and BEAUTIFUL. For now… I must wait.  Learning from the stress and the pressure of what is going on in your life right now will only make you stronger!

I just wanted to share the lyrics that I found!

“I want to open up my eyes
I know that all I need is time
I’m growing stronger every single day
God, I’m going to lean into You now
Letting go of all my fear and doubt
I can’t do this on my own so I’ll give You control
I know I’m not the only one

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it”

Strengths

I tend to point out my flaws and fail to let my strengths shine.  The thing is I have so many strengths that I don’t give myself credit for.  Yes, I have multiple weaknesses BUT the strengths that I do give myself credit for are outstanding.  The internal battle I fight with myself can be crazy at times.  This internal battle can’t stand a chance against the things that I have accomplished.  I enjoy where I am today.  Lately it seems like I am having more bad days than good days.  It dawned on me recently that I have no reason to feel that way. I have so much going for me.

Being “good enough”

Have you ever wondered if you are good enough? The answer: Absolutely. Many people fight with this question. I used to fight this question daily and now it pops up on occasion. This week the feeling of being “good enough” has really hit me hard.

I have all of the help in the world. I have a great support system filled with friends and family.  They are there all the time and yet again they seem invisible. I get so consumed in what I have going on, I fail to take the time to spend with those that want to hear about my day. I feel that I am always catching up, instead of keeping up, with my loved ones. Being so far away from them does not help much. This is the hardest thing to overcome.

Having fought for something that I wanted for two academic years was very difficult. However, having won that battle it is nice to fully understand the meaning behind being good enough. I know now that I can do anything I set my mind to. I feel that I try my best in everything that I do. I tell myself this daily. Optimism and self-confidence are two key features that I must overcome in order to feel good enough. They are features I am definitely working on improving.  Only in time.